I have problems

(per request, I have removed the scary picture of Dr. Phil-- because I love you guys so much)
I hope you understand that I do not always have everything together. I have been in a constant state of discomfort since I have returned from China. If it hasn't been jet lag, it's been living out of a suit case, or sleeping in two twin beds, or weird California allergies, or boredom, or living with different parents with differe rules in a house with different expectations, or just plain culture shock. For the most part I am comfortable, happy, and acclimating somewhat normally.
Something that I have not been able to reconcile is simply the money issue. My heart hurts because I cannot just make sense of everything. I have seen and experienced a different life with different standards with different resources, and what I see now is not nomral... but is normal. I have seen people living in absolute poverty or in the bare minimal state of survival (according to my standards), and now I have come back to America and see all the things. For some reason when I look across the Target parking lot, I become angry because I know that the Lexuses and Mercedes are so expensive and I remember the old ladies sweeping the streets and asking for my empty water bottles so they can recycle them for pennies. I remember looking into people's apartments and seeing how little they had. I have been in closets that were bigger than some families homes.
Please understand that I do not think that it is wrong for you to own nice things, or live in nice houses, or eat fancy food. I am praying for forgiveness for casting judgement on people I see with nice things and trying my hardest to alter my actions and words accordingly. I am just confused, and I am having to reconcile two completely different worlds so that I can make decisions for my life according to what I know is right. Reverse culture shock is hard and real; however, my hope is to continue placing myself in situations where faith is required. (<- Thanks Bonhoeffer for that one.)

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