Fitter, happier, more productive, comfortable...

Utility: adj., useful, esp.through being able to perform several functions.

Unfortunately, for one reason or another, I have slipped into a funny mindset. By being so focused on utility, efficiency, timeliness, and just being a matter-of-fact-bastard, I have completely forced myself into a funk. Someone brought up the way that I used to write on this medium, and I have noticed how it used to bleed with life and life's experiences, and now it is just another recap of an unoriginal day. Today has been a process of realizing why I just don't feel right. My conversations are curt and only a way for me to further my agenda or gather information. My bike rides are not to see the world or for the joy of it; I ride because it is cheaper and will get me to school faster. I read my books for class because I have to, and not to try to find new ideas that might revolutionize my life. I look to ordinary blue-collar jobs as something to slip into easier than selling my car, TV, XBox, and packing a few suitcases and heading of to Sino (China). I skip chapel because I don't have to go, and because I have homework that I have to finish. Even what used to be idealist and a way for me to glean energy from life has been neatly classified into "useful" or "funtional."

Well, I am done being that way. I am not sure how I can get back on with living, but I can think of a few steps. I will not allow myself to sleep in any more, no matter what. My mornings are precious and a way for me to stretch my muscles before I hit the ground running for the day. I will open my eyse to the beauty surrounding me. I will go to China and explore, speak, love, minister, teach, and live! I will engage in meaningful discussion with the people I run into. I will learn some Chinese, work on my French, and actually try my best to do well in my classes. Basically, I will do everything in my power to live my life to the best of my abilities, in a way that can somehow be praise to My God, My Savior, and My Redeemer.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

Oh yeah, I will start doing more crazy things like my friend Cole... like smoking on the Pacific Coast Highway while riding a bike in the middle of traffic.

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