Chapter Four

Back again

2012-02-05T21:09:00.000-08:00

I believe that I can now say that it has officially become a part of my personality: ambivalence towards television. Another Super Bowl Sunday has come and gone and I didn't even watch the entire game, nor did I even watch it in my own home (being that we haven't owned a TV for three years now). Instead, our home this weekend was host to Noël's dad as he was passing through, my second epic attempt to start plants from seeds (yes, that is me doing my thing in the garden), a few dozen amazing peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies, muffins, biscuits, and time reflecting on and discussing about things that matter to Noël and I.

Today after church I began thinking about some of the ways that I have been relating to God in new ways. First, as I have attempted to jumpstart the germination process of some especially tricky seeds, I began to better understand the infinite complexity of this place. He created the things behind organic chemistry, natural life cycles, and even a neurological system where migraines could occur (ouch they hurt!). Secondly, I also began pondering about the grand question of "How am I pursuing a personal relationship with God?" This important question led me to a few interesting discoveries that initially was a healthy conversation, but ended with a great and solemn revelation. In addition to this revelation I was reminded that life as a Christ follower at times (most times) will look like that of the apostles and saints of Olde Tymes--ergo: hard, difficult, full of sacrifices, and continually purifying. This hard truth led to a revelation that along with a current and relative absence of these types of conflicts or oppositions may in fact be a result of a potential life-long struggle. (Likely more to come later . . .)

Finally, I have been reminded as I read slowly through a chapter in Luke that, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." What kind of people am I drawn towards, spend time with, think about, or befriend?

Shakespeare

2011-02-07T22:08:00.000-08:00

Noël had and interesting insight that revealed to me why this third post has been so difficult to come up with: the first two were so extremely ideal and the third was just silly. That aside, I did want to share a bit of what I learned in my seminar tonight.

Dr. Kermode has done an excellent job so far rounding out what has been historically something that I have avoided as much as possible in my English studies: Shakespeare. The class is structured and includes some history, criticism, theater history, contemporary staging considerations, pratical take-aways for the teachers, lively discussions, and of course three plays. Tonight, I scribbled a few notes of what I found to be most relavent to our discussion about Hamlet and also applicable for life:

Begin with a question, like . . . What is it that we expect from a play/ story/ show/ narrative? And what happens when these expectations are not met or are met differently? (When I watch Battlestar Galactic, do I just expect a syfy show or a heady and philosophical action drama, and how does this affect my reaction to it?)
No single "Text" of Hamlet exists. Instead, multiple manuscripts exist of several plays, that were create as single-piece items, sold to an acting company that was then cut up and amended by that company. This makes finding that one Text very difficult.
The silences, spaces, and things that we don't understand about a play are likely more important than the easy stuff that we comprehend easily. (Trust me, I am quite guilty of this too.)
From what I understand, Hamlet has become such a giant cultural thing that actors cannot escape the little trademark "points" made by their predecessors--in a way, they are subject to the past.

And a post would not be complete without pictures:

Cool and quite place to read, but not quite what I had in mind.

My little friends (can you spot the warms?)

Running for your life

2011-02-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

I am taking a Shakespeare seminar on Monday and Wednesday evenings at CSU Long Beach. Because of the parking situation and the location of the majority of my classes, it is more advantageous to park south of the campus on a public street then to buy a parking permit for on-campus parking. This requires a bit of a walk and one major thoroughfare to cross. At night, it may be hard to spot someone crossing the street because it is dim. Sure enough, someone wasn't paying close enough attention tonight.

I began to cross, noticing the car gently beginning to accelerate (which they will do, but always stop and wait in the middle until pedestrians get half-way across). However, this person was not slowing, but accelerating--at which point my (fight or) flight mode kicked in and I started to RUN across the street--arms pumping, knees up, toes out--in perfect sprinting form. It was either the sudden flurry of movement or the realization that there was someone cross that caused the person to slow, largely missing me.

A little weekend project

2011-01-31T07:37:00.001-08:00

Curt, Teresa, Paul and Noël helped me with my little project over the weekend. We were able to build and install two 12' x 4' planter beds in our backyard. I am hoping for a bumper crop of vegetables this year.

Putting together bed #1

The finished product

Inspiration

2011-01-27T22:20:00.001-08:00

I would like to thank my sister Megan for the inspiration. She has committed to taking a picture every day of the year and posting it to her frame a day blog.

With that inspiration, I was hoping to capture a perfect shot inside of the factory that I work in, or a moment when I was at Home Depot cruising the isles for materials for my latest project, or the local pizza place we went to tonight run by an industrious New Yorker couple... but I didn't capture any of those moments on my camera. Instead, I shot a picture of the future. We made a batch of cinnamon rolls from scratch that we will bake in the morning. We used this recipe and again used Megan's tip: "Always use half the sugar and butter that the recipe calls for."

Jim Elliot begins

2010-07-21T20:03:00.000-07:00

Noël suggested that I read the journals of Jim Elliot again for the 3rd time: once when we first met and started being friends in Texas, again when we were living in Laguna Niguel, and yet again yesterday . . . except this time she pulled the book off the shelf for me. I opened it and began to read. The journal is a comprehensive record of his life and how the bible is lived out through his ideals, weaves prayers into his entries, and is an intimate view into the spiritually of a devout child of God. It is a great book so far. It is life-giving. God is continually honored. Each entry is only a few days between the next--so this guy was adamant about taking time to reflect on God.

Encouraged by his example, I eliminated frivolous web surfing which included Google reader posts, Facebook visits, and the cessation of chess on my iPhone. Instead, I read Hebrews 1.

God, having old time spoken unto the fathers in the prophets by divers portions and in divers manners, hath at the end of these days spoken unto us in [his] Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, through whom also he made the worlds; who being the effulgence of his glory, and the very image of his substance, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had made purification of sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high.

Reading "that he made the worlds" led me to realize that, 1) God made the world I am in currently--he even sees me at my little job at work 2) He is not to be taken advantage of by silly people like me 3) He truly is omnipotent.

Lord, Christ is the bright, radiant, illuminating [effulgence] of Your glory, the the very image of your substance. How great you are!

Trash

2010-07-10T15:40:00.000-07:00

He works in a fast paced, changing environment. He works on teams, communicates well, and is willing and able to accept more responsibility and complete tasks on-time. He wrestles internally with competing realities-- the Kingdom, fiscal responsibility, politically correctness, power structures, careers, and personally held ideals.
She also works full/ part-time developing a career/ helping to pay the bills. Also, she tends the house. Laundry piles. Dishes dirty. The apartment continually moves towards entropy (disorder)-- all would end in chaos if not for her diligence to scrub those surfaces, make and complete lists of chores, or ask for help on the weekends. She also wants to live Rightly, richly, loving and establishing relationships, dreaming, and living out those dreams.
However, it is at the end of day and dinner is at hand. She is the chef. He is the sous-chef. They create a healthy, fulfilling, and tasty dinner. Dishes stack, trash cans fill, counters sully . . .

[Enter marriage book stage right] It asks:

Who will do the dishes? Who will take out the trash? He is tired and mad, she is frustrated, she asks nicely, he is upset about something about at work, he never, she always . . . etc.

I have encountered this situation in books about marriage, conversations about marriage, and I have even made dinner with Noël and observed the trash after cleaning chicken, peeling potatoes, emptying week old foods in search of the perfect container, all on top of last nights shrimp peelings.

The bottom line is that I am not going to force her to take out the rotting trash, down into the dark alley, to deposit the leaking, dripping bag into a full, putrid community dumpster.

Sense guides me. Logic reveals the "right thing to do". Compassion impels me to serve. Love and duty go together like Simon and Garfunkel.

Picture credits

The seed metaphor

2010-07-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

As obscure as agriculture is to us today, barring of course favorite backyard gardens, metaphors about natural things still resonate. When I reflect on the work I do at PCA, I often think of it in terms of fruit--does what I do bear fruit? When talking with Michael about future passions, desires, interests, careers I council him that, "Whatever you decide to do after school, you will have to put your hand to some plow: it is just up to you decide what plow it will be." When Noël and I have conversations, they will often convict me of something about the nature of God, the nature of God relating with man and result in growth. When I think about what the growth looks like, it resembles something nature-ish growing (i.e. tree) and not the development of a baby into a child or another type of human development.

While driving back from errands I was considering two resources within my control (one more abundant than the other): time and money. I asked myself, "What would it look like if every dollar and every minute spent = a single seed?" A single seed = a mustard tree = kelp (which indirectly = ice cream) = this year's christmas tree = soy bean for soy lattes. In the same way, each minute might = deeper relationships = new understanding of God = new thoughts = more smiles = a "howdy" to a stranger; or each dollar = gift for others = investment in a richer life (mine or someone else's), etc.

If then each minute or dollar is like a seed: Would my seeds grow? What would my fields look like, especially as time elapsed? What could I do to improve my agricultural practices of sowing seeds of time or money?

He also said, "This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come." Mark 4:26-29

See also: II Cor 9:6, Isa 32, Mat 13:31-2

Spirit

2010-06-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

For if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:13

Four days ago I began to round up my left-over time and put it to good use. In these short few days I have established some study habits that include the use of a flash card app, read, gone

on walks, and had a great weekend in Bakersfield celebrating Paul's acceptance into the Naval Academy.

Tonight over dinner I began to talk with Michael about the nature of internal human experience classifications: Spirit, thought, emotion, (nothing), and reflex:

1) Spirit, especially Romans 8: Life in the Spirit

2) Thoughts are pretty apparent, but functions uniquely when compared to 3 or 1

3) Emotions

4) (nothing) usually happens when I am doing the dishes... stuff is going on outside, but not much inside...

5) Reflexes are rare but represent some type of experience, though fleeting

As I talked through this idea I began to realize that the 5 elements could interact in expected ways.

4 (nothing) usually leads to nothing or sometimes thoughts, but not usually emotions

5 reflexes are the base human instinct and is polar to Spirit-- the indwelling of God.

2 Thoughts sometimes lead to emotions like when I remember sweet things Noël has done in the past, then I get happy

3) Wild emotions can be stopped by thoughts or can linger (such grieving)

2) Thoughts of God can lead to the spirit

3) Emotions can lead to the spirit

etc.

A wave with normal ups and downs is created by a continuous line connecting each of the different human experiences, culminating in in the dominant experience of the Spirit.

Appetites

2010-06-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

34 Days from my last final exam of the spring and 65 days until my next round of classes I have decided to come out of academic hibernation. After a brief check of my normal scheudle, I found 4 open hours in the afternoon and evening that were not allocated to something essential like eating, sleeping, grooming, commuting, working, 10 minute napping, household maintenance. On the first day of this new schedule I purchased study materials for the GRE, walked 2 miles, studied, began developing a study plan, and read a few sections from Boethius' Consolation of Philosophy.

As an aspiring medievalist I am obliged to read this book because (of peer pressure) and because it is a major text that influenced how people dealt with and understood life. Many works and popular game shows use his analogy of Fortune and her wheel, especially when trying to understand life's hardships, the role of Providence, and how we deal with the ups and downs that Fortune puts us through.

While reading I found this quote to be nerdily relevant to a conversation I had with a buddy from work today about consumption, and how new (Apple) electronic components fit into a a new class of devices that tap into a new market--the consumption of information. However, after reading Boethius, it did not relieve my desires to want the "Truly Magical Product".

If Plenty from her well-stocked horn

with generous hand should distribute

as many gifts as grains of sand

the sea churns up when strong winds blow,

or stars that shine on starlit nights,

the human race would still repeat

its querulous complaints.

Though God should gratify their prayers

with open-handed gifts of gold

and furbish greed with pride of rank,

all that God gave would seem as naught.

Rapacious greed soon swallows all

And opens other gaping mouths;

No reins will serve to hold in check

the headlong course of appetite

once such largess has fanned the flames

of lust to have and hold:

No man is rich who shakes and groans

convinced that he needs more.
(Boethius 26)

Boethius. The Consolation of Philosophy. Trans. Victory Watts. Penguin Books: London, 1999. Print.

The experiment

2009-09-02T22:28:00.001-07:00

Ms. Davidson was my 6th grade science teacher. She was a giant to me and I remember the time she ate a candle that actually turned out to be a lit potato wedge. For me, memories are a weird thing. What is vivid about my memories of that class were the experiments that we conducted relating to the physical sciences... because in elementary school, you got to conduct great experiments but didn't have to calculate molecular mass or observe the spectral diffusion of different light waves. I just got to shoot off rockets and burn things.

What made me think of my science class was my latest expedition into the field of yeast. Michael and I made our first brew of mead this past winter that yielded a hearty drink. Noël frequently makes a fresh loaf of bread-- which always include a joke about the "sound of bread" from Ratatouille. Nonnie (Noël's grandmother) just recently gave us a jar of sourdough starter--which led me naturally to this article. Which naturally led to this:

My first sourdough experiment. Represented here are two attempts to culture naturally occurring yeasts in a sourdough starter that I feed daily. The jar on the right is an attempt to culture yeast from the air in Long Beach. The three jars on the right are my attempt to culture yeast from the skin of grapes picked from Noël's parents backyard. It has been a nice nightly ritual to maintain and feed the yeasty creations. As soon as I am satisfied with my experiments and have tested each batch, I am more than willing to share the wealth--for those brave enough.